never play flip cup with pint glasses
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
