she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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