I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
