In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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