Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
