I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize