I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
