he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Who died my cat blue again?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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