I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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