hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
