Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize