Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize