When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
