Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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