No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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