I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
