I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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