woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
