oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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