people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
babies were throwing up all over the place
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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