She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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