i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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