We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
