So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize