my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
