omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
