he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
