addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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