I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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