they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
