I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
