just tell him i said nine months
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She announced her abortion via fbk
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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