You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
