I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
