I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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