No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize