I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
