I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
