We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
