i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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