is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
