how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
