is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
