New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
