hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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