By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
