But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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