THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
