If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
