just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
