There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize