you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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