you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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