Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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