Need sex. Gaining weight.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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