i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
