How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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