He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
