You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
