She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
