The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
