Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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