Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
