This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
